August 11, 2006
THOUGHT
Man's Progress
For the past few months, I have been thinking about our progress as a race. It doesn't appear that we've gotten very far, except in the rise of gadgetry. We now have self-propelled vehicles, cell phones, skyscrapers, and computers, but really, in the big things, we have not made it far. A few scientists, like Einstein, have made leaps in the last couple of centuries, but those cases are isolated and rare. I keep asking myself why this should be; why doesn't each successive generation excel in knowledge, understanding, science, etc., to a degree that cannot be matched by prior generations?
I think that a person is born into the world at zero. But in childhood, he is so encumbered by the baggage of his parents that he falls into the negative, sometimes far, far down, and then spends his entire life working to shed that baggage and finally, in old age, if he's lucky, he may eventually arrive at zero again. An entire life wasted, essentially. Then he dies, and he never had a chance to increase himself, to contribute to the progress of humanity. But he had children himself, to whom he passed his burdens and baggage, and the cycle continues.
What waste of precious lives! (I thought) What a sad state for our race, who is condemned to tread water for as long as God sees fit to allow our earth to thrive! How pitiful each child who comes into the world! What a hopeless state of affairs! And this desperation made me wonder what the point was of education and learning and reading and growing, if none of us (or only a very few of us) is going to make it past our starting point anyway? Just eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.
It seemed that mankind would forever be stuck, that our primitive habits have held us back from unimaginable advancements. And what Einstein did would look like child's play if we all worked together.
But suddenly I saw things from a new perspective. Maybe the point of life is not to advance humanity. Maybe that is not even remotely what God intended our focus to be when he created us. Maybe, just maybe, the point of life is just to live. To learn how to think, how to love, how to struggle, how to deal with the same trials that every other human has had to deal with, to let everyone start at zero and fall and work their way back again. It may not matter where we work, or what our hobbies, or how much we travel, or how little money we have--maybe all that matters is how we handle this common, everyday life. How we utilize the specific talents God has given us. Maybe it really is all about the journey, not the destination. (I really hate that phrase, but it so aptly expresses my thought that I hope you'll forgive me for using it.)
When I was younger, I used to think that I wanted my life to count, I wanted to be the first female president, or a missionary martyr, or at least a big fish in a little pond somewhere. Otherwise, I felt that my life would not matter. The accumulation of wealth was also a big measuring stick of my progress in life. But the eternal striving for what will always be elusive gave my heart no rest, my soul no peace. I have become increasingly content to just live my little life, to enjoy the presence of the few people I see everyday, to appreciate the beauties of nature, to revel in God's presence, to allow God's spirit to shine through me, and just to do my best in the task that is set before me each day. Because when the winds of trial blow my way, I want to be prepared to withstand them as firmly as a strong thick oak, my feet firmly planted on solid ground. That kind of growth happens quietly, daily, with consistent watering and pruning--the kind of stuff that never makes the headlines. That's my life now. It probably won't progress humanity, won't "matter" according to the history books, but who cares? I am doing what God intended, slowly clawing my way back to zero. And that gives my heart rest, my soul peace.
June 18, 2006
PHOTO
Noah Carson Freeman, My Nephew: Three Years Old
Sweet Smile
April 9, 2006
PHOTO
Noah Carson Freeman, My Nephew
March 23, 2006
PHOTO
Noah Carson Freeman, My Nephew
You'd better back off!
February 28, 2006
MOVIE
Blind Horizon
Released 2003.
Another Val Kilmer homerun! I have to say, he's got to be one of the top ten actors alive today. But aside from his performance, I enjoyed this movie because of the amnesia element which I find so intriguing.
I'm still not sure about the ending, though. Did Frank originally intend to assassinate the president, or not?? Was Chloe really his wife, or not??
A lot of what appeared at first to be subplots turned out to be vital pieces of the resolution, but ambiguous pieces, so that the viewer's interpretation of the movie could go several ways, like "The Lady or the Tiger?"--very satisfying.
February 26, 2006
BOOK
Ecclesiastes
The Bible
If you'd like to have a sobering thought, read this book. It was written by King Solomon, arguably the wisest man who ever lived aside from Jesus. Solomon details his journey in search of the meaning of life in this comprehensive little book. Perhaps you are searching too. If so, you might actually enjoy shadowing Solomon as he sinks his sorrows in strong drink, then works his fingers to the bone, then gives himself over to every sensual pleasure, then denies himself the basic comforts of life, then buries himself in books and learning, AND MORE! all in a futile attempt to discover man's purpose on this earth. Does he find that purpose? Well, yes and no. It's up to each reader to decide.
February 25, 2006
BOOK
Foundations of Risk Management and Insurance
CPCU 510
If you are interested in learning about insurance--what is it? where did it come from? why is it necessary?--then this is the book for you. If you are like me, you might have a difficult time understanding your homeowners policy and determining what is covered, what is excluded, and why on both accounts. If so, read this book.
February 16, 2006
MOVIE
Phantom of the Opera
Released 2004.
Am I alone in wishing Christine would have stayed with the Angel of Music?? I know it would have been a terribly unhealthy relationship, but he was so passionate and romantic and powerful! ...and so pitiful. I earnestly wished he'd finally found peace and fulfillment, but I realize that his dying in angst is what makes the story timeless.
The costumes and setting in this film were mesmerizing, rich and complex, and the music arrangements still haunt my memory...
(possibly because I purchased the soundtrack)
February 12, 2006
MOVIE
Primer
Released 2004.
This movie started out and ended up way over my head. I almost felt like the characters were speaking a foreign language of which I could only catch a word or two here or there because they used a lot of technical jargon which, in retrospect, didn't seem to add meaningful content to the movie, but only to lend a feeling of authenticity to the story. At several points in the film, I was completely confused as to who was who (there are doubles of the two main characters running around), and at the end, I couldn't figure out which set of doubles survived. It was a neat movie, but it hurt my brain. It made me fewer smart...
February 4, 2006
MOVIE
Spanglish
Released 2004.
Adam Sandler does better in a serious role than in a full-on comedy. Though this movie had some really humorous moments, they were merely incidental to the dramatic theme woven through each scene. I've never seen a more classically beautiful woman than Tea Leoni--and she can act, too! Actually, every character in the movie performed well. In thinking about the plot, dialogue, setting, music, humor, tension, etc., I don't remember a single element of the film in which I was even slightly disappointed. I loved the bittersweet ending.
February 2, 2006
MOVIE
Hope Springs
Released 2003.
Yes, Colin again. But I had to rinse my mouth from the previous movie so I could still watch Bridget Jones' Diary occasionally without creeping out. And "Hope Springs" was just what the doctor ordered: refreshing, witty, romantic, cute, and funny. Don't worry, it's nothing like "Hope Floats"--it's actually the opposite. Nobody dies, the girl gets the guy, and no children wail piteously for daddy to come home. This is a great upbeat comedy for a girls' night out.
January 30, 2006
BOOK
First & Second Chronicles
The Bible
The Bible
These are the last two of six consecutive books in the Old Testament that chronicle the rise and fall of hundreds of years of kings in Israel. Some of the kings did right in the sight of God, but sad to say, most did not. Maybe it's a testament to how absolute power corrupts absolutely.
In 2nd Chronicles can be found a very famous verse, in which GOD says, "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land" (ch 7, vs 14).
Also in 2nd Chronicles we find the story of the Queen of Sheba, who, hearing of the wisdom and wealth of King Solomon, traveled long and hard to see him for herself. After she spoke with him at length, and saw his riches with her own eyes, she said, "It was a true report which I heard in mine own land of thine acts, and of thy wisdom: howbeit I believed not their words, until I came, and mine eyes had seen it: and, behold, the one half of the greatness of thy wisdom was not told me: for thou exceedeth the fame that I heard. Happy are thy men, and happy are these thy servants, which stand continually before thee, and hear thy wisdom. Blessed be the LORD thy GOD, which delighted in thee to set thee on his throne, to be king for the LORD thy GOD: because thy GOD loved Israel" (ch 9, vss 5-8).
January 22, 2006
MOVIE
Trauma
Released 2004 (Independent).
My Colin-crush is over. He is truly creepy in this movie--a tribute to his talent, ironically. The film is confusing until pretty much the very end, when suddenly all the pieces fit together and your skin crawls. This is a psychological thriller with a viable plot and a satisfying conclusion, but I wouldn't want to see it again. Did I say it was creepy?
January 15, 2006
MOVIE
The Importance of Being Earnest
Released 2002.
Yes, another Colin Firth movie. But this one was really cute! Oscar Wilde has always tickled me because he pokes gentle fun at the upper class of his day (late 1800's) who might otherwise take themselves too seriously. His is the classy situational comedy that always seems to end up all right after all--this appeals to my idealistic temperament. The movie emphasized Wilde's wittiness and cleverness with almost every line of dialogue containing a double entendre. Colin Firth and Rupert Everett are fantastic...
SPOILER! The two of them play friends in the city, where no one knows their real names and they can be naughty as often as they like with no consequences. But when Colin Firth, under his city alias "Earnest", falls in love, he faces the challenge of somehow breaking the news of his "real life" to his beloved without losing her. This is only half the fun, however, because Rupert's character falls in love too, and under the city alias of "Earnest" as well. Which Earnest will get the girl? You'll have to watch to find out.
January 8, 2006
MOVIE
The Mayor of Casterbridge
Released 2003 (TV).
Pure agony. That is what makes this a timeless story, a classic, required reading for Lit majors. It is the bittersweetness of life that makes it worth living, that gives it depth and complexity, that makes the sweetness all the sweeter and the bitterness all the more bitter. Though I own the book, I've never read it, and now I feel that I don't have to, so well did the movie tell the story.
Ciaran Hinds portrayed Michael Henchard, the main character with a streak of meanness unmatched in these parts, but simultaneously with a heart so generous at times that one could begin to love him in spite of his vices. This story follows Michael Henchard for most of his adult life, through love and hate, riches and poverty, bitterness and gratitude, and ends with his ignominious death in an abandoned barn.
There were many surprises in the plot, some furiously unfair and others wonderfully elating, that by the end of the movie (3 hours), I felt like I'd run a marathon! I immediately sat down and ordered it from Amazon.
P.S. James Purefoy is amazing!!
January 2, 2006
MOVIE
My Life So Far
Released 1999.
If you're even slightly observant, you'll notice a trend in my current movie pics: Colin Firth. To break the spell of his smouldering gaze and beautiful brown eyes in "Pride and Prejudice", I have resorted to watching films in which he is less than romantic. This particular movie helped a little, because he plays an unreasonable and foolish man at times. The main character is his 10-year-old son, Fraser Pettigrew, who steals the show with his luxurious red hair and precociously innocent remarks.
The action takes place in Scotland during WWI, almost exclusively on the familial estate. The accents are worth hearing--they seem mostly authentic. As a plus, there's even a bit of curling included for all you sports fans. I would recommend it for mature audiences.
January 1, 2006
MOVIE
Constantine
Released 2005.
There is one scene in this entire movie that is so beautiful, it made me buy the DVD. Constantine is in the library arguing with Gabriel, and he makes some kind of comment like "you don't deserve His love", and Gabriel drops her eyes and spaces out for a few seconds, and you know by her expression that she's feeling sadness and shame and humbleness at the fact that she is too inadequate to even begin to fathom the depth of God's love for her. It's an expression I've seen in a classical painting somewhere--so perfectly captured by Tilda Swinton that she should have received an Oscar for it, in my opinion.
Beyond that, the film was entertaining, with rich dark settings and appealing characters. I thought the guy who played Satan was marvelous--really great acting. The soundtrack rocked too. :)